Mosul, Iraq (The Busher Report) – Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, the self-elected spokesperson for ISIS, the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, offered to sell former Vice President Dick Cheney and the Neocon Iraq war hawks fabricated, posted dated photo-shopped photographs of Saddam Hussein surrounded by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction the United States secretly supplied to Saddam during Iraq’s 1980s war with Iran.
“Did you see Fox’s Megyn Kelly rip both Cheney and John Bolton new assholes over the current state of Iraq?,” asked Mr.Baghadi who continues, “Imagine being completely embarrassed on international television by such an intelligent and beautiful blonde shiksa like Ms. Kelly. I know everyone thinks all members of ISIS are violent maniacs, so awful Al Qaeda disavows our actions, but even we felt bad for Misters Cheney and Bolton.
So we decided to take action. We will secretly sell, on eBay, Mr. Cheney and his Iraq war hawk friends irrefutably fake post-dated photos of Saddam Hussein with the weapons of mass destruction the United States covertly supplied to Iraq during 1980s war with Iran. We can photoshop Mr. Hussein into any position in relation to the WMDs plus we can add captions like, ‘Come on Mr. Bush, you wimped out of Vietnam do you have the balls to come after me?’
The ISIS creative team came up with three photo options for the Neonuts:
Photo option 1 – Saddam Hussein standing in front of WMDs, smoking a cigar given to him by Donald Rumfield, making the classic peace out sign celebrities like Justin Beiber employ.
Photo Option 2 – Saddam Hussein photobombing the WMDs from behind.
Photo Option 3 – Saddam Hussein poking his head into the photo from either the left or right side of the frame smiling and waving at the camera.
Alternatively we can self-publish a whole Saddam Hussein WMD photobook through either through Smashwords or Blurb. The Neonuts can pay us through their Paypal account. We considered accepting Bitcoin but we felt it’s a little too unreliable for ISIS.”