Today in Brussels, President Obama’s golf putter announced new sanctions the world will impose on Vladimir Putin and his Russian cronies.

1. Must dry Madonna’s hairy right underarms with their tongues.

2. Must counsel Alec Baldwin in Anger Management while taking paparazzo style photos of his wife Hillaria who freely poses for them.

3. Must referee a naked hot oil wrestling match between Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell.

4. Must Live a month in the life of Shia Lebeouf while wearing his brown paper bag with the words “I’m not famous anymore” while watching all his movies over and over again.

5. Must become Kate Gosselin’s personal assistant until Russia gives Crimea back.

6. The United States will prevent sunblock manufacturers from selling product to Vladimir Putin.

7. The United States will block Putin from watching the latest Game of Thrones and Mad Men new seasons.

8. The United States will block Putin and his cronies from accessing any new Kardashian selfies.

John Busher wrote this post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy one or both of his short satirical ebooks he self published through a service called Smashwords for $2.99 each. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.

1. Donny The Drone’s Terrific Guide to American Exceptionalism.

2. The 4th Amendment Interviews The NSA’s Prism Project.

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